Happy International Women’s Day
But I don't want to hug myself, I just want equal pay.
I saw a TikTok a week or so ago of a woman who had created a time-lapse recording of herself doing one round of laundry for her family of fourteen.
It struck me as the perfect representation of how the original ‘domestic bliss’ was a construct to distract women from starting the next revolution. Twenty-nine seconds felt too long watching for God’s sake, imagine having to actually do that on a regular basis!
It’s an extreme example, I know (and props to her, she is a far stronger and more patient woman than I), but I was reminded of this infinite laundry TikTok when I read today’s press releases for International Women’s Day 2023.
The theme? #EmbraceEquity. The call to action? To hug yourself.
Really.
Honestly, you cannot make this shit up. It’s like if IWD had a baby with a Herbal Essences advert. It’s giving me shiny haired women eating fat-free yoghurt vibes.
A well-meaning colleague asked me last week as part of an internal IWD drive, ‘what does #EmbraceEquity mean to you?’
And my honest mental answer: absolutely fucking nothing… so why do I now have to go research it, figure out my thoughts on it then potentially write a piece of content for the world on it to feel like I’m doing my bit?
The overwhelming, sinking feeling I get (from the people paid to come up with these concepts, I’d like to add, not from my talented colleagues who genuinely give a shit about making a positive change) is:
Why is IWD starting to feel more and more like the infinite laundry TikTok? That is: all work, absolutely zero progress.
And second question, why is it on me as a woman to figure it out? I cannot think of anything that signifies better ‘we have absolutely no plan on how to improve the lives of women and girls worldwide’ than this proposed ‘action’.
Would a hug help the following?
Nearly half of women in 57 developing countries do not have full bodily autonomy (UNFPA report, 2021). Women in the United States, the biggest, most powerful democracy in the world, no longer have bodily autonomy in many states (the UN has now been called on to intervene).
In the UK an average of 80 women per year are murdered by their current or former partners (Femicide Census, using ONS homicide data). This average has not changed in 10 years. These incidents are generally still referred to ‘isolated’.
130 million girls worldwide still don’t go to school (UN Women).
Women in the United States are still paid 82 cents to a man’s 1 USD (Pew Research).
Side note: Sharon O’Dea, below, is spending the day live-tweeting pay gap statistics to companies paying lip service to IWD. That also feels like a better way to spend the day than pontificating on equity and what it means to me.
And more than 1/3 of women leaders considered leaving the workforce in 2022 (Chief study), even though fewer women are having children (usually touted as the reason here).
Frankly, when I read these statistics I feel more like I want to stick two fingers up than hug myself, but maybe that’s just me.
And hey, maybe I am getting cynical in my old age. I used to be pretty forthright about celebrating International Women’s Day, if only to ensure there was at least one day in the calendar where women got more than equal representation - even just in terms of sheer newspaper column inches (the other 364 days, we’re still working on it).
That’s not to say I don’t think woman don’t need (or deserve) this day. I do. I still think women and their achievements are a huge cause for celebration, and I still think, judging from just some of the examples, we still desperately need support from all corners.
But we also need more radical action if we are to truly embrace equity, and we sure as hell need a better creative concept with clearer, more effective calls to action,
If you agree too then I’d urge you all - man or woman - to mark IWD by doing one of the actions here instead of hugging yourself:
Join an IWD protest. I found out yesterday that in Valencia teenage girls are given the day off school to mark the day and go join a protest if they wish. I love this, I hope boys are allowed too.
Call out shitty misogynist behaviour from others as and when you see it. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking women are more emotional than men. I’ve seen my fair share of male tantrums in the workplace but funnily enough the word emotional never seems to come up 🤷♀️
If you hear a great idea from a woman in a meeting, vocally support it. And please for God’s sake don’t repeat it five minutes later as if it was yours, we do realise and remember.
If you have girls in your life, emphasise their non-physical qualities as strengths.
If you have boys in your life, teach them to respect women as their equal, not someone to overpower. Treat them to see strong woman as adding value to their lives, not questioning or undermining their own strength as boys.
Mentor or advocate for a woman you admire at work. Connect them with others who will help them on their career journey.
Consider donating to a non-profit supporting women’s issues such as Planned Parenthood or Refuge.
It’s proven that diverse businesses, governments and societies bring about greater profits, better ideas and faster innovation. It’s literally for the good of all of us.
But hugging ourselves isn’t going to get us there, sadly.