The overachiever's guide to New Year's Resolutions

My three rules for crafting 2024 goals you're actually going to keep...

Me NOT completing my first marathon as I was supposed to (this was the half).

We’re only a few days away from 2024, and feeds are either awash with reflections and intentions, or a bunch of memes asking what day it is (it is Friday right?)

And full disclosure: this is a time when I come into my own, on both ends of that spectrum.

Every year on either the 27 or 28 December I watch two Ustinov Agatha Christie films back to back (Death on the Nile and Evil Under the Sun, in case you’re curious), eat all the chocolate I was gifted days earlier, and drink mimosas. Yes, it’s heaven, and you should definitely try it.

But I also use some of this special, sleepy time to reflect on my New Year’s Resolutions for the year ending, and pick some new ones for the year ahead.

It’s the perfect time to do this - usually we have a bit of headspace, even if just a couple of hours, to get out a notebook, make a coffee (or mimosa) and do a bit of daydreaming.

And I am a big fan of resolutions. After thirty-odd years on this planet I know myself well enough to know that personal achievement both motivates me, and gives me self-confidence. As a result, I find New Year goal-setting intertwines closely with my version of self-care, a concept which is often touted as face masks or bubble baths (and, yes maybe also mimosas), but is really more about making space for pursuits that connect deeply with your true self.

I understand why others aren’t rocked by resolutions - really I do - especially when life’s demands just get too much in the way for any meaningful ‘progress’.

Nevertheless, and if you feel able, I urge you to consider making time to reflect and choose perhaps only one resolution to focus on for the year ahead. Even just making that time for yourself can feel like an act of resistance in a busy, notification-driven world, and I’m convinced that even intentionally thinking about what you’d like to achieve will have a noticeable impact on what you say yes - and no - to in the year ahead.

For the annual reflection part, I already have you covered. Head over to my Seasonal Review Introduction and simply follow the prompts listed on the template.

But when getting down to goal-setting, how do you make ones you’re actually able to keep? It’s all too easy to get wrapped up in the shiny visualisation of ‘future you’, with a fully ticked list, and gloss over the hard work it can take to get there.

I have three key principles honed from my years as a card-carrying, Type A overachiever, which I’ll share with you in today’s post:

1. Don’t overdo it

2. Be intentional, mindful and vocal about your goals

3. And don’t forget to have fun!

Even applying just one of these ‘rules’ to your resolution-setting will help them feel more manageable. Let’s get started.

1. Don’t overdo it

We’ve all been there. It’s January 1st, and we’re feeling confident about all the great things we’re going to achieve this year. New Year, New You (and Me).

Been there, done that, and no I didn’t get the t-shirt as I couldn’t achieve any of them.

I can’t stress enough, the first rule in making resolutions you actually keep? Make them manageable.

I’m talking one to three, up to four maximum. Don’t spread yourself too thinly trying to do too much. Focus on a few, punchy resolutions that stretch you, without being so daunting that you find yourself procrastinating on making progress. You should look at resolutions as your priorities for the year ahead. And if you have too many priorities, well, then you end up with none. 

On that note, making your resolutions manageable isn’t just about the quantity of resolutions you ultimately commit to - it’s also about the quality of them. After all, if you’re only picking a choice few to prioritise, then you have to make them count. That means: 

• Don’t write heaps of half-assed things you maybe, possibly, would like to do if you only had the time. This may be one of the rare occasions where one half-assed thing is indeed better than nothing at all, but don’t let them take over. 

• Equally, don’t put anything that you know, deep down, you do not actually want to do (see: skydives, bungee jumps, marathons. I speak from experience).

Instead, what’s one small step you could take towards a dream of yours in 2024? That could be the place to start in 2024. 

2. Be intentional, mindful and vocal about your goals

I hinted a little at this particular rules in last week’s post, where I shared how my own 2023 resolutions had fared, and what I’d learnt from them. If you don’t have time to read the whole post now, here’s a recap: 

1. Apply for Latvian Citizenship and my Latvian passport (It’s in the post)

2. Start writing my first novel (I finished the year 18,000 words in)

3. Learn how to make a Spanish omelette 

4. Run my first marathon (I didn’t manage it, and pulled out in October)

Even though I didn’t complete all my goals this year, being intentional, mindful and vocal about them was key to keeping me on track for the majority. I’d go as far as to say if you only follow one of my three ‘rules’ for resolution-making this week, then choose this one. 

Get intentional about the ones you pick

Looking back it’s clear that I chose resolutions that were not all ‘hard’ or indeed ‘hard work’, but rather complemented different parts of my life and could open up future avenues (e.g. my Latvian passport: the process took a year from start to finish, but it’s done now).

That said, I always like to pick one or two which connect deeply to work I want to do, like writing a novel. Whilst others, like running a marathon, felt a physical challenge I would be ready for. It turned out to be too much of a next level for me, but that’s OK.

I also added a fun one ‘learn how to cook a Spanish omelette’. Living in Spain, this was something that I always wanted to learn (and indeed, loving Spanish omelette), but was also a resolution that, once completed, I could consolidate throughout the year.

If you’re thinking about what you’d like to achieve next year, have a think about how some of your goals might complement one another. That doesn’t always mean that they all need to add up to the same outcome, though they could (e.g. if you want to learn Mandarin, maybe you have a goal to visit China next year, or to learn to cook a Szechuan dish, or order your favourite dish in Mandarin).

Most importantly, look a year ahead in the future. Maybe even look five. What do you want your life to look like? What achievements would help you get towards that?

This last point is where the reflection part is so important. If you don’t know, go back and do the Seasonal Review as a starting point. And if you do know, then take a step back and think about how your resolutions can help you get there - even they’re micro-moments on the way to bigger milestones.

Here’s a great example which I can use from personal experience. It’s said that all of us have a book in us, and many share the same goal I have which is to write my own one day. But getting to the point where my resolution is to actually go write that book (or a first draft) has taken me years of smaller steps towards that goal. 

Here’s how my resolutions have tracked to that goal these last few years: 

• 2020: Do thirty minutes of morning pages every day (I didn’t stick to this, but it focused my mind on ‘getting the words out’)

• 2021: Complete a writing course (Storytelling Lab, Jan - March 2021)

• 2022: Submit my short stories to competitions (several, and I still do this)

• 2023: Bake writing into my weekly life, and start writing my first novel (starting the Substack; scoping out an idea for my first novel).

• 2024: Get to the end of a first draft of my first novel

You’ll see how all of those resolutions intentionally work towards something big I’d like to achieve in my life, but none feel particularly overwhelming. OK, yes 2024’s still feels pretty overwhelming, but it feels possible, something it categorically did not in 2020, 2021, or even 2022.

Keep them front of mind

How do you keep something top of mind? You keep checking back in on it. My four chosen resolutions for 2023 were not just the ones I was most intentional about, they were also the ones I kept front-of-mind all year round.

I did this in a couple of ways. First off, by revisiting them every few months, though in all honesty, I don’t generally review them in great detail until September when I do my Seasonal Review. 

Notice the flurry of activity I did for my Latvian passport (November/December) and the novel-writing (November)? It’s not an accident! It’s exactly why I purposefully revisit my goals in September, so I have three to four months remaining to make an impact on my goals where I want or need to.

Similarly, when you first write down your goals as the new year breaks, plot out how you think you will be able to get them done in chunks as the year progresses. I am a project manager at heart, so I take every goal I have and break it down into sub-goals or ‘tasks ’.

I know, I make it sound super thrilling, but it really works. Let me show you how I broke down this year’s: 

• Run a marathon. Q1: Sign up for half-marathons in March and October. Q2: Find a running buddy. Q3: Start training plan. Q4: Run the marathon (In the end, I pulled out in October after having a few injuries).

• Start your novel: Q1: Get into a writing habit / start a Substack. Q2: Initial plotting of idea. Q3: Crime fiction course. Q4: NaNoWriMo.

• Spanish omelette: Q1: Find a recipe and attempt first Spanish omelette! Q2: Workshop with friend’s mother. Done!

• Latvian passport: Q1: Find necessary documents of my Grandfather. Q2: Understand process + fill in forms. Q3: Submit documents. Q4: Receive notice of citizenship + applied for passport.

NB: Not all of the quarterly tasks above were set in stone from January - some were shaped as the year went on (because I continuously checked in on my goal), and others were subject to external restraints (Latvian passport) that I got lucky with!

Finally, of the three or four goals you pick, set one that’s relatively quick and easy to tick off. It can be a great reminder that the reason you’re doing this is to build a life you love and are proud of, not to helicopter-parent yourself (you’ll see the Spanish omelette was my dopamine hit right there).

Vocal

Now you’ve chosen and set your resolutions, it’s time to shout about them! 

This can be the part that fills people with dread, worried that they’ll get over-excited about the potential only to never achieve their goals. Or even worse - for a Brit anyway - that you’ll be seen as an insufferable show-off who keeps harping on about themselves. 

But whether we like it or not, getting vocal about your resolutions is actually one of the best  ways to get your goals done, by putting yourself publicly on the hook for making them happen.

Posting on LinkedIn may make you feel like an arse but it sure ratchets up the accountability levels

Now, you don’t need to go blabbing about them on LinkedIn like I did (though it certainly lights a fire under you to get them done), but find a way to bake accountability into your process.

Here are some ideas if you’re not ready to post a status update: 

• Partner with a friend or work colleague and be accountability buddies with one another. Share your goals then set aside time once a month (via a coffee, a virtual meet or even a quick Whatsapp) where you hold each other accountable for what you did last month and state what you will do next month to move you toward your goal.

• If you’re working with a coach, mentor or close colleague (line manager) on your goals, you must tell them about your goals. 

• A tip I learned from Simon Alexander Ong’s fantastic book, Energize: When you talk about your goals (publicly or privately), cut out ‘I want to…’, ‘I will try to…’, ‘I hope to…’, ‘I should…’. Instead, it’s much more powerful to assert ‘I must’ or ‘I will’ - you’ll notice a subtle shift internally that focuses your mind on what needs to be done to hit your goals. 

Finally, we often think we’re boring people when we tell them about our life goals, but the truth is that those people who really care about you want to help you succeed. And, when you do, it makes them proud too. This is the secret superpower that lies in getting vocal about what you want: others listen, and they help you. 

A great example of this is my goal to learn how to make a Spanish omelette in 2023. Because I was vocal about my resolutions, a group of friends in Valencia gifted me a ‘tortilla workshop’ with one of their (Spanish) mothers for my birthday. It ended up being such a fun day, and I will forever have special memories of the kindness - and patience - they showed me in helping me reach my goal.

3. Have fun with it

There are plenty of people who wholeheartedly reject New Year’s Resolutions seeing them as just another marker of the hyper-productive, hyper-capitalist, hyper-everything society we live in. Or as simply one big humble-brag for the privileged.

Honestly, the cynic in me thinks they do have a point, but I still believe our resolutions can be more powerful than we think. We can use them as quiet commitments to forming new habits, a permission slip to prioritise your desires, or a way to slowly but surely forge a new way of life - perhaps one we’ve wanted to prioritise for a while.

And, most importantly, we can just have fun with them! I’ve touched on this a few times throughout today’s post, but it’s worth repeating as a rule of its own. 

There will be times in your life, for whatever reason, where you identify serious goals that you must address or face the consequences: financial, relationship, and health ones spring to mind. 

But whatever season of life you are in, don’t forget to prioritise pleasure. Don’t forget why we’re all here, to find moments of love, connection, happiness, laughter, and fun amidst all the devastation and desolation in the world. 

If you’re still stuck on what goal you might set next year, come back to these questions:

• What are you curious about?

• What did you enjoy as a child?

• When did you last feel really happy? Alive? Successful? (Whatever your definition of those words are to you). 

What did those moments have in common? What’s possible to recreate? What’s easily repeatable? 

If you’re at a loss, start there. Happy New Year.

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Have you set any goals for 2024 yet? Or perhaps you hate NY Resolutions with a passion? I’d love to hear your thoughts.