I am listening. I am eager. I am paying attention.
I'm stepping into my new year by stepping back for four weeks.
Happy New Year! I hope you had a restful break doing more of what brings you joy.
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With all my talk of 2024 resolutions, lessons learned and new habits formed, I’m rocking up to write this morning feeling a little sheepish.
Because I’ve decided that I’m going to hit pause on this Substack for four weeks.
I know. What a way to start the New Year, hey?
It seems a funny time to stop, even for me right now as I do it. I’m feeling ready to get back into writing after my Christmas break from work, and I’ve had a lovely boost of new subscribers sign up (hello and thank you, all). I’m also interacting more with the platform as I start my New Year’s resolution to read War & Peace, via
’s life-affirming group read-along (there’s still time to join and catch-up).But I can’t deny that over the last week, in particular, I’ve felt nudges, tugs, signals and signs that suggest this is the right time for me to take a breather. I think it all started with my word for the year.
Here’s to staying eager and paying attention
When I choose a word for the year ahead it becomes a bell that steadily chimes throughout the months ahead. A rock on which I build my habits, and a keystone of any decision I make.
This year, I decided to prioritise a value which I hold dear but took for granted last year: Vitality.
The Britannica dictionary defines vitality as follows:
Vitality /vaɪˈtæləti/ noun.
1. A lively or energetic quality
2. The power or ability of something to continue to live
It’s a word that I find is rarely used in modern parlance, possibly for being co-opted by one too many businesses to sell us either life insurance or low-fat yoghurt. But it’s a quality that I think is woefully under-used and under-appreciated.
Vitality is energy, life-force, dynamism and vibrancy; it’s zeal, gusto and passion. It’s waking up in the morning excited to get up and go, and make the life you’ve been dreaming of, whatever that looks like to you.
Vitality stretches and shimmers out in front of you, uncontainable and infectious. It’s a spring in your step walking down the road to the bus stop; it’s smiling at a stranger who looks at you like you’re a bit odd but then smiles back in spite of it; it’s noticing that beautiful sunset as you do the washing up: the reds, yellows, pinks and oranges.
Vitality is not just connection but inter-connectedness, it’s seeing shoots of growth prickling in us as much as in the potted plant we almost killed, and it’s deeply connected to nature and our inner life force, and source. Put simply, it’s anything that makes you, or others, feel alive.
What I love about having vitality as a value is that you don’t need riches, or even time, to bake it into your life. You just need to pay attention. Susan Sontag puts it better:
“Do stuff. be clenched, curious. Not waiting for inspiration's shove or society's kiss on your forehead. Pay attention. It's all about paying attention. Attention is vitality. It connects you with others. It makes you eager. Stay eager.”
― Susan Sontag
Making vitality my word of the year is me taking the decision each day to say yes, I am listening. I am eager. I am paying attention. To the lessons of the world, the lessons of nature and the lessons we hold deep inside ourselves.
Prioritising my inner voice
One of the best and loveliest compliments I’ve ever been given was on my ‘vitality’. I’ve been told many times that it’s my strength: my energy is supposedly infectious, and my passion occasionally inspiring. But last year I felt some of that life force was left drained at times, or frayed around the edges.
2023 was a joyful year for me, and I’m so lucky to have that experience in a world that seems to get harsher, stranger and unrelenting to most living creatures every week. I became an Auntie, I started Scrambled Eggs, I deepened the relationship with my partner and his children, and I had a rewarding professional year.
But it was also tiring. After having Covid again in March, my immune system couldn’t seem to get back up on its feet, and I was ill much of February, March, May, and then again in November and December. I rely on exercise to reduce anxiety and stress, but these cycles of sickness meant I’d have to stop just as I hit my rhythm again.
I felt better in time for Summer only to develop plantar fasciitis, which meant exercise again was a painful strain. It was demoralising, and de-energising, and there were a few times where I felt abject, visceral stress, to the point that I saw physical manifestations (locked in a vicious cycle with my low immunity).
It would be easy to infer that I’m drawing a direct line between the work I do here, on Substack, and these personal issues - and don’t get me wrong, adding two deadlines a week to my already-busy life definitely didn’t help my health in 2023. But it’s far subtler and ‘bigger picture’ than that.
In choosing ‘vitality’, I want to set an intention to listen more to my body and that quiet voice inside. Right now that voice is saying ‘you need to focus on plotting your novel this month’, and certain events have happened even in the last few days that have made that voice louder. I’ve decided I’m going to listen.
The power of the pause
You know me: a pause is never going to be a complete stop. Writing gives me great energy and I find it very cathartic - it’s also been critical in developing my professional voice as well as my personal.
With that in mind, the next four weeks are going to be filled with some writing I’m doing for work and, as mentioned above, spending some deadline-free time on doing some much-needed plot work for my first novel.
I’m sure I’ll also jot down some ideas for the next Scrambled Eggs essay - if there’s anything you’d like me to focus on, reply to this email or drop me a note in the comments.
I’m also going to use this time to take Sontag’s advice to stop and pay attention. To read more, doodle more, get out into nature and walk more. To breathe more life into vitality and listen to what comes back. Could you take some time to do the same?
What does my January pause mean for you? There will be one Sunday Smorgasbord post this coming Sunday 7 January, and then I’ll be taking a break from any new writing here until Friday 9 February.
During this time I will be re-publishing stories from the Scrambled Eggs archive, once per week on a Friday. I’ll be pausing paid subscriptions during this time, and annual subscribers will have a month added on to your year’s subscription.
Thank you again for your support. Look forward to seeing you again properly on 9 February.
Vitality ins and outs
I’ll end on a silly note, with my vitality yays and nays following the current trend. These are my hopes for the year… let’s see if I can stick to my word, literally.
IN
Weekend lie-ins with a good book
Long walks in nature
Morning dips in the sea, when no-one’s in yet
Strength training
A Sunday run
A day of rest in my schedule
The phrase: ‘no, thank you’
Creative retreats, including DIY ones
Reciprocity
OUT
Travel
Weekday drinks
Over-explaining
‘Saving the day’ energy
Over-planning my diary
Getting Covid, fingers crossed!
✍️ Do you have a word for the year? What is it? And do you think vitality is underrated? Let me know in the comments.
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Love this! Its also such a fabulous example of setting a boundary 💕
Your list of INs is excitingly very similar to mine 🤗 Maybe that's the mid- to late- 30s vibe xx
You deserve a break! Proud of you for taking this decision. Loved the article and looking forward to reading more in February